Terms of Service

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you’ve just stumbled upon the legal-ish jargon that governs our beautiful digital playground here at https://www.google.com/search?q=GetBlare.com. We’ve tried to keep it less snooze-inducing than your average terms, but hey, lawyers make us do this stuff. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty (but with a wink).

Terms of Service – https://www.google.com/search?q=GetBlare.com (Last Updated: [Insert Updated Date Here])

1. Welcome, One and All! (Seriously, Anyone):

Guess what? If you’ve got eyeballs and an internet connection, you’re in! There are absolutely zero velvet ropes or secret handshakes required to peek at our website or even snag our fantastic services. We’re an open book (a slightly sarcastic one, maybe).

2. When We Tweak Things (The “Updated” Stamp):

Just like your favorite playlist, things here might get a remix now and then. If we decide to jazz up these terms, we’ll slap an “Updated” date right at the top of this very page. Consider it our way of saying, “Hey, we changed some stuff, might wanna take a peek.” Your continued digital frolicking here means you’re cool with the new groove.

3. Let’s Get Building! (Our “Create” Magic):

So, you want a shiny new corner of the internet? Awesome! Here’s the lowdown on our “Create” service, our Development and Design (DAD) offering (because who doesn’t love a good acronym?):

• The Spark: It all starts with you filling out our super-duper interest form. Think of it as your website wish list.
• The Template Tango: Unless you’re feeling fancy and want a bespoke digital castle, we’ll likely whip up your site using one of our snazzy templates. They’re like well-tailored suits – they look good on everyone.
• Going Custom (The VIP Treatment): If you’re dreaming of a website as unique as your fingerprint (and have the budget to match), we’ll either wrangle one of our in-house design wizards or find a vetted freelance guru to craft your digital masterpiece from scratch.
• The Whole Shebang: Our DAD service isn’t just about looks. We’re talking a fully functional WordPress site, your very own domain name (think of it as your internet address), a professional email to match, and boom! Your digital baby will be live and kicking within a snappy 28 business days. We’re practically digital midwives.

4. Hosting with Pizzazz (Our “Host” Haven):

We’ve got hosting flavors to tickle your fancy, all served with a side of “we try really hard to keep the lights on”:

• The Fab Four: We offer four hosting packages, each with its own superpower:
  • Security Sleuth: Daily backups and ninja-like updates to WordPress, plugins, and themes.
  • Maintenance Maestro: Everything in “Security Sleuth,” plus we’ll hunt down and banish malware, swat away spam like digital flies, and restore your site monthly if security gremlins cause trouble.
  • Support Superhero: You get all the “Maintenance Maestro” goodness, plus you can holler at us for website tweaks that take less than an hour (free of charge!). If you’re on one of the less heroic packages, those little fixes are just $50 a pop. You also get one website restoration per week and performance reviews – because we like to see your site shine.
  • SEO Sorcerer: We pull out the big guns with advanced SEO voodoo, keep tabs on your keywords, and throw in a daily website restoration. Need an extra restore? That’ll be $50.
  • The Common Thread: Every single hosting plan comes with basic SEO setup. Consider it our little digital welcome mat for search engines.
• Uptime Promise (The 98% Saga): We aim for the stars (or at least 98% uptime). You’ll see our report card regularly, so you can keep us honest.
• Bonus While Paying (The “Create” Chaperone): While you’re rocking our super flexible payment plan for your “Create” website (more on that payment rollercoaster later), we’ll still host you – but you’ll be chilling in our most basic hosting digs.

5. Making Google Your Buddy (Our “Grow” Guru):

Want more digital eyeballs on your awesome stuff? Our “Grow” solution is like giving your website a megaphone for search engines. We’ll:

• SEO Shenanigans: Optimize your site so Google and its buddies love you.
• Sitemap Secrets: Create those digital roadmaps for search engines.
• Keyword Kung Fu: Figure out what your people are searching for.
• Tool Time: We’ve got our trusty sidekicks: Moz, RankMath, UberSuggest, and SEMRush. They’re like our digital magnifying glasses.
• Word Wizardry: We’ll craft blogs and articles packed with those magic keywords.
• Copy Checkup: We’ll make sure your website words are SEO-friendly.

6. Hello, World! (Our “Engage” Intro):

Ready to chat with your audience? Our “Engage” service gets you set up with Mailchimp for email and SMS marketing. We’ll get you started with one audience, show you the ropes, and then… well, you’re in Mailchimp’s capable hands for ongoing support and anything beyond the initial setup. They’re the email/SMS gurus, not us.

7. Talk to the Hand (Via Email and Our Fancy Portal):

We’re all about efficient communication. While email ([email address removed]) is always an option, our primary hangout for client chatter is our swanky Member Portal at portal.messha.org. Think of it as our digital clubhouse, powered by our cool parent company, The Messha Network.

8. Joining the Club (Portal Account Creation):

Once you’ve decided to join the GetBlare family by paying for a service, you can snag an account on our Member Portal. Just toss in your first and last name, your email address, and whip up a password that’s harder to crack than a digital safe.

9. Play Nice, Internet Citizen! (Our “Conduct” Commandments):

While you’re hanging out with us, please try not to be a digital menace. You agree not to:

• Do anything illegal (duh).
• Steal other people’s digital doodles and ideas (intellectual property is a thing).
• Spread nasty digital cooties (harmful software).
• Mess with our digital widgets and gizmos (interfering with our site or services).

10. The Digital Boot (Account Termination/Suspension):

Right now, we only pull the plug on accounts if things get seriously abusive. However, if those invoices gather dust for too long, we might have to hit the pause button or limit your access until things are squared away. We’re not trying to be mean, we just like getting paid (who doesn’t?).

11. Show Me the Money! (Our Payment Palooza):

Let’s talk about the green stuff:

• Create Cash Splash: For our “Create” magic, we ask for a non-refundable 50% deposit after you give our proposal the thumbs-up. Once we give you the “ta-da! your website is ready!” announcement, the remaining 50% is due. But wait, there’s more! You can stretch that second half into 4, 5, or even 6 payments. Just a heads-up, though: choosing the payment plan adds a 20% sprinkle to the total project cost. So, if your website was $10k, the deposit is $5k, and if you choose 6 payments, that remaining $5k becomes $7k, payable in smaller chunks. Paying early or late doesn’t change the total amount, but late payments might lead to a temporary digital timeout for your site. Oh, and while you’re making those sweet, sweet payments, you get our basic hosting on the house!
• Host Hoolah: For our “Host” haven, your first payment is due on the 1st of the month after a 30-day grace period from when your site goes live. So, if your site launches on the 14th, count 30 days, and then the next 1st of the month is payday. After that, it’s the 1st of every month, quarter, or year, depending on your chosen plan.
• Grow Goodies & Engage Extravaganza: For our “Grow” and “Engage” services, payment is due in full once you give us the “let’s do this!” nod and receive our bill. Simple as that.

12. How to Pay the Piper (Our Accepted Currencies):

We gladly accept the plastic fantastic (Visa, Mastercard, Discover, American Express), the digital handshake (ACH), the “buy now, pay later” pal (Klarna), and that internet wallet fave (PayPal). Take your pick!

13. Taxes? Included! (The Price is the Price):

Good news! All the prices you see already have the taxman’s cut factored in. No surprise fees at checkout – we like to keep things straightforward.

14. Price Hiccups (The January Jiggle):

Like the changing of the calendar, our prices might see a little shuffle in January. If that happens, we’ll send you an email heads-up, so you’re not caught off guard.

15. Your Digital Treasures (But We Might Show Them Off):

The awesome stuff you give us for your website? It’s yours! You own it. However, we might use it (anonymized where appropriate, of course) in our templates, show off your shiny new site in our portfolio, or even give it a little shout-out on our social media channels. It’s all part of showing the world what we can do!

16. Zero Guarantees (The “Hope for the Best” Clause):

While we pour our digital hearts and souls into our services, the internet is a wild and unpredictable place. Therefore, we offer absolutely NO GUARANTEES on things like website uptime (beyond our 98% aim), SEO results (Google’s a fickle beast), or getting you a flood of new customers. We’ll do our darnedest, but the digital dice are always rolling.

17. Not Our Circus, Not Our Monkeys (Third-Party Disclaimer):

Anything involving third-party services or partners (like Mailchimp, payment processors, or those fancy SEO tools we use)? Yeah, that’s on them. We’re not responsible for their shenanigans, their policies, or if their digital widgets break.

18. Our Oops Cap (Limitation of Liability):

In the unlikely event that we royally mess something up, our liability is capped at the amount you actually paid us for our services. Think of it as our “oops, our bad, here’s your money back (sort of)” clause.

19. The Money Movers (Our Payment Gateways):

We trust the big guns to handle your payments: Stripe for most transactions, and sometimes our old pal PayPal pops up too.

20. Saying Goodbye (Service Termination):

If you decide to part ways with GetBlare, just shoot us a written notice via email to [email address removed]. We’ll handle the digital paperwork from there.

21. California Dreamin’ (Governing Law):

These terms and our relationship will be governed by the wise and wonderful laws of the State of California. So, if we ever have a digital dust-up, that’s where we’ll sort it out.

Phew! You made it through. We hope this wasn’t too painful. By sticking around and using our services, you’re essentially giving this slightly sarcastic document a digital high-five. Thanks for being awesome! Now go forth and conquer the internet!